I'm still feeling it with the loss of my nephew. Not only do I not get to spend time with my wife Janice, but now I HATE leaving my kids with other people. I'm  started to get paranoid about it. Even for just a few hours, or in church. I HATE THIS! This is such a bad curse. I'm so lost...This is one of the worst feelings I could have never imagined as having when as a parent. I hate this. It's making my depression worse.